Saturday, December 20, 2008

Guess it finally feels like a proper Christmastime now.

New York finally has gotten snow for the past two days and as much as I love it, I do not like when I have to go shopping in the city and decides to wear my Uggs, which are now completely ruined beyond fixing. I was in the city from 11am till 4:30pm, and by 12:30 my Uggs were soaked, and were soaking through my socks, meaning my feet were sitting in soggy uggs and socks, creating squishy little puddles that almost froze my toes. Another factor was that we went from Herald Square to Time Square to 14th Street and Chelsea/Village..walking really (and the occasionally train). I did get half of my Christmas Shopping done and the rest will be completed tomorrow and Monday.

Today is gonna be entertaining and busy, since its my mom's family xmas party, which is gonna be a lot of fun. All of my mom's siblings, and a few of their cousins are gonna be there. I get to see my cousins, which I love since I hardly ever get to see them (thank god for facebook!!!) and we will imbibe in the drinks and food, like we normally do. Since we are all almost close in age, its nice since, the majority of the lot can do things together with out such a big age gap. Hopefully Jeanna and her family will be done for the Xmas, we would all love to see them!

I took all my finals...just need to get my grades back, along with my grades from the winter session and than I can send in my application to SUNY New Paltz!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

rain.
constant hard aggressive rain.
i love it.thats what happening outside my window again.

**god i love it. the rain just makes everything seem better. i love hearing the pitter-patter of the rain, its so soothing and calm, like your old baby blanket or cuddly stuffed animals, or the strong and caring arms of a lover. god. i have become sappy in my old age. oh well, figured since i never really had the best relationships with love while in high school and the first three months in University...it truly is a nice change of pace for me. And makes me want a relationship that could last more than a few months and be built on strong foundations. oh my...did another ramble. this is the one downside to a blog, i can constantly ramble and ramble with out anyone biting my head off or telling me to shut up. but i need to get something off my chest or else I will burst in a supernova of emotions that would make someone in the soap opera world jealous.**


it sirius topick:
why do people always assume that I'll be splendid if you drop plans for hanging out using the excuses they always use and turns out that it was a fucking lie. "i am not feeling well" or "there has been a change of plans and I can't go" or "rain check...can you come out here or something like it" or the best one that I love and always find is complete bullshit is the one where we keep our plans and I arrive their waiting like an idiot for her friends to come for an hour or two and become sad and than have to fib a bit and tell the people that "We had fun doing what we do" instead of telling them the truth...that it was another abandoned meet up. Always have happened to me and most likely always will. isn't it pathetic. and these people are supposedly my best friends.
Many friends have done this over the years and continue to do this. sucks really but i guess i have no other option but to stick through this life that I have created for myself. And guess what, to let this hit home for me, I have decided to share my small sample of that which i dont like...being truly alone.


i've a perfect example story:
a) their was this girl who has my best friend for over half a decade. been through everything you can imagine. [sleepovers, dabbling in wicca and some other stuff, blood sisters, heartache, stupid little "you had to be there moments", vacations with each other and telling each other our deepest and darkest secrets, suriving HS and elementary school with each other too] And than comes graduation and me moseying along to AU...and entering a whole new life and new friends.

But i never left her in the back of my life....always invited her to visit me, or tried to talk her into meeting up in the city. and on the days that I went home for the weekend and i told her so, she hardly ever visited me.
Than came January and that month rocked my world like no other, bringing everything I knew and believed in down, crumbling like Pompeii did for Vesuvius and she tried to help me but in the end abandon me to a swirling pit of darkness but my other friends pulled me out of it and helped me get to where I am now and where I want to go.
She never again contacted me...no phone calls, no im, no myspace or facebook. I get nervous and than found out, around the not Merry Month of May that she got in some deep shit that she loves but will ruin her life in the long run.

1)Did i hate her?...back than, for abandoning me? no..never.
2)Do I hate her now? At the moment of right now...Yes. I can say I hate her. For promising me that she would never leave me as a friend. But I look back at our memories...always showing up late for hanging out, saying yes and never showing up. I have learned a lesson from her though; she showed me the ways a Best Friend Can Fail At Friendship.
3)Will I hate her in the future? Maybe not, Hopefully she will be apart of the chapter in my book of experiencing the world and look at with a longing to be young again and have that connection again or Maybe even forget that she ever existed in my life.

In conclusion: i hereby free myself from the constraints of our friendship.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

bit more about:

**partial disconnected attachment-to only sever part of an affection.**

this is how my life currently is, or I call it PDAS (the "s" meaning syndrome). sounds about right and dont think I am "emo", I am far from it. Its just how life is for me right now, certain connections in my life are severed and appear to be irreconcilable for an indefinite amount of time which is fine by me, and than there are others that I am upset about and I cant really let people know about it but there is one person I could tell about. She is one of my best friends, and one of the few people who i could trust with the dark secrets about me. And I am seeing her on Wednesday for a girl's day in the city, including Shopping, Lunch, Jamba Juice. Thats why I call it partial since I still have a group of people that I can count of both of my hands that I will be friends with for a while and with everything that bothers me.

i must say that the old expression is true "Better to few friends who would take a bullet for than many friends who would stab you in the back" Yikes! Now I am starting to sound emo but thats not what I want. I actually wanted to post a random quiz thing I took so if other people see this & wanna try its like a personal "Soundtrack to Yer Life" and here is mine:

1. So you walk into a your old high school and the first thing you think is:
Boom Town Suite - Murray Gold

2. Your significant other is:
Late Great Planet Earth - Plumb

3. Your life at the moment is:
What You Want from Legally Blonde

4. YOU at the moment are:
Help Yourself - Amy Winehouse

5. You feel like this a lot:
Lose Control - Evanescence

6. This is how you can impress people the most (i.e. your greatest talent):
Best Kept Secret - Skillet

7. In the middle of a Sunday, you are usually:
2OOO Volts - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

8. Your appearance has this effect on people:
Infatuation - Christina Aguilera

9. You are obsessed with:
Bittersweet - Apocalyptica feat. Him & The Rasmus

10. Before you go to sleep, you think
I Have Friends in Holy Spaces - Panic! At the Disco

11. This song is a total reflection of your sex life:
Here With Me - dido

12. Your parents are:
Teenage Love Affair - Alicia Keys

13: Your family life is:
C’mon C’mon - The Von Bondies

14. Your relationship with God is:
In The End - Linkin Park (Vitamin String Quartet Ver.)

15. God's relationship with YOU is:
Animal I’ve Become - Three Days Grace (apparently)

16. You think that people in general:
Honestly Ok - Dido

17. You feel this way about yourself:
Damaged - Danity Kane

18. Think of a good friend. They are:
Hometown Glory - Adele

19. You want to have a party. The theme is:
Big and Bad - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

20. Your friends in general are:
no hay igual - Nelly Furtado feat. Pharrell & Calle13

21. Your teachers are/were:
Karma Police - Panic! At the Disco cover

22. If you saw your ex six months later, you would be:
Stars - t.A.T.u

23. So you walk onto the red carpet. Everyone else thinks:
Re-Education - Rise Against

24. So you are getting married. The theme song to your wedding is:
Almost Here - Delta Goodrem & Brian McFadden

25. So you are getting divorced. The reason is:
Prosto Lyubit Teba - Rasputina & Philipp Kirkorov

26. You see love as:
Sally’s Song - Amy Lee cover

27. You see hatred as:
Halloween - Siouxsie and the Banshees

28. Whenever you are depressed, you:
Leavin - Jesse McCartney (muahahahahaha)

29. You want to ____ right now:
Princes of the Universe - Queen

30. So you see a gorgeous person right across the room. You think:
Je T’aime (Habibi) - Milk & Honey

31. So you need a hug. The reason is:
Restless - Alison Krauss & Union Station

32. When you are especially angry, you:
Nth Degree - Morningwood

33.The Song That Represents you and a now Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend or Current Boyfriend/Girlfriend (depending):
Whispers in the Dark - Skillet

34. Your ex thinks that you are:
That’s What You Get - Paramore

35. You think that your ex is:
You’re So Vain - John Barrowman

36. Your beauty is like:
Killer Queen - Queen

37. You dance like:
Just Dance - Lady Gaga

38. When you wake up in the morning next to the person of your dreams, you look deep into their big, beautiful eyes and say:
Sweet Temptation - Lillix

39. Think of an authority figure in your life (e.g. your boss, your Mom, etc.). They are:
Hades World - Immediate Music

40. You die. ______ should be playing in the background:
Song of Captivity and Freedom - Murray Gold

41. You meet with God. He reprimands you for all your evil deeds. In your defense, you exclaim with confidence:
You’re Gonna Go Far Kid - The Offspring

42. What will you re-post this note as?
Because We Want TO- Billie Piper!



Friday, December 5, 2008

Okay.
I am so excited that it is already December! Like you can't believe how excited I am! Its the holidays...and I get to do my annual pre xmas lunch with my girls in the city on Wed, and and and its finals time, so that means classes will be over soon!!! Like this tuesday soon! ahhh...this means I am only getting closer to PC & The Inauguration & my Birthday of course! Your probably getting tired of all the exclamation points and stuff but humor me here, plz!

I had Psych today, so i was kinda like doozing away since it started at 8am, and i popped up at the question a few of the girls were talking about. It was the "Sex Up, Marry or Throw a Cliff" question but she asked it like this "You have a Marine, A Navy Boy and Army guy...who do you chose to Sex Up, Marry or Throw off a Cliff" And boy did that spark a conversation. I didn't get a chance to answer...quite sad though but the entire class all spoke their opinion on it and i kinda got one sneak in and my boy Jeff heard me and snickered (i hit him after class on the back of the head) "Depends on the size of the weapon for Ms.Gallagher over here, and I responded "Dont matter the size..its how you use it". Never realized how over sexualized that sounded in a Psychology class until now.

Good times, Good times.
Oh on to a few other things.
Early Morning Shopping Tomorrow .... maybe or maybe not I will go with Mom. I kinda wanna go by myself since I need to pick up the parental's gift and my friends too.
Doing pretty well in classes/ Love all my classes except my Music class right now since the professor is a prick.

Monday, December 1, 2008

give the US Economists a gold medal!

the bright economists have official declared the US to be in a official Recession.
what the US have been in a non-official Recession since October than? stupid apes!
Obviously...and now that its "official", i guess the rest of the world is gonna follow our footsteps soon and go like "the nation of blah-blah-blah has entered a Recession". OMG, it is just frustrating.

Bombings in Mubai? It was orchestrated by 10 young adults and was successful considering the idiots who did it, some survived and got the passports of americans, brits and israeli's in India whoop-e-doo!!!! think they should have realized that, during the attack- it was split between Indians and Foreigners something was going down?!!?

Plaxico is dumbass: what a dumbass...shoots himself in the leg. hope the giants get rid of him. they won against the red skins with out him. no skin off my back if he is let go. let the other players get a shot.

Clinton is Secretary of State in Obama's Cabinet: boy will this be an interesting four years. all the egos in his cabinet...I wish i could be a fly on the wall for those meetings dealing with international cooperation and dealing with world crises. good luck US!