Sunday, June 28, 2009

week things...oh

saw transformers 2 by myself. awesome kick-ass killer summer blockbuster. i recommend everyone to go see it.

things: my driver's ed instructor. yes i am twenty and taking driver's ed now...i took AP and Honor classes while working two jobs in high school, I barely had any me time or even time to hang out with my friends. So i decided to take it now (well after being hounded my parents & neighbors to do so over a span of six months- i like the metro, sue me!). stupid bitch doesn't have to raise her voice and put me down, make me feel like shit.

death: buried my great aunt, my mom lost an old friend who died, and her bff's mom is currently on the cusp of death. And people in Hollywood have been falling off the branches :Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, Michael Jackson all dead. Kinda sad...not gonna lie....everyone just fading away and dieing, so not cool. May all their souls rest in peace.

happy: summer is here, going back to tanning and the beach, no hard work right now. i figured out what i want to do one day in the summer; rent some movies, order some delicious food and sit in my back yard with my laptop with my feet in a kiddie pool and lounge with friends for a movie marathon. it'll happen but since my friends aren't in to the whole "movie marathon with no purpose" oh well

and this ends my sad and short post about the nothing that currently is my summer life.

Monday, June 15, 2009

the rains in june brings sadness in two's.

i said it.
i have a dislike of summer.

summer has its perks, the beach, the sun, a fruity frozen drink, umbrellas, and the scent of the sun, beach, water, soft fragrances, and tan lotions creates a scent that is very precise to beach communities, along with the bon-fires on the beach, bbq's parties, and flip flops. We have off from school for about two months and we can work, spend all hours of the day with friends.

but personally, a lot of heavy shit happens to me.

for the past couple of summers, i have had to bury close family and friends, in the literal and metaphorical sense as well. And it appears that this summer is not going to be any different. My Great-Aunt, who is technically the Matriarch of my very large family is quite ill, and has taken a turn for the worse. No one knows if she can survive the week, and that is quite sad. I hate having the feeling loom over you, as you know what is gonna happen and you try to brace yourself for it but when you do that, it hits you harder and crueler than expected.

My Great-Aunt was the first person in the family to fully accept my mom was my Dad's girlfriend and later on wife, after he divorced his first wife (who is a confused and messed-up bitch) whereas the rest of the family thought that Dad and the Bitch would get back together again and took a while to accept it. So I had loved my Great Aunt for being the first to accept my mom and that she was an amazing woman of character, grace and one of the most honest and blunt women I have ever known and probably will ever know. Not to mention that this leaves my Grandmother completely alone, she had to bury her husband on Christmas, her second oldest son after the last family trip in July 2008, her Husband's brother on Thanksgiving 2008 and now quite possible will have to bury her sister, her last relative in the US.

This is what is hovering in my life right now.
Also: I did not get accepted into SUNY New Paltz, CUNY Brooklyn College because although my gpa was in the 3.0^ range, it is too competitive. I was saddened. But a positive is that i have my learner's permit and being driver's ed tomorrow, along with summer classes to keep my busy.

more later.