alone

i have come to accept something that has been following me for the past couple of years and it is something that is highly depressive; i am alone in the sense of friendship.
What is wrong with this sentence? I am a sweet, outgoing, loyal, funny, person who would do anything for their friend and would rather hang out at a small restaurant with good stories and good food than get piss drunk and forget the night. If you need me, I will be there as soon as possible. So why is that I cannot keep a friend, or the friendship fades, along with me in it?

I look at my facebook a lot and see everyone with updated photos of going out with friends and doing random crap. I see all their smiling faces, joyous expressions, cuddling with friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, i see posts on their wall discussing things gone by and "ohmygodimissandloveyou" or "rememberthattimeyoudidthatthingthatwecantdiscussandMAGICWORD" and poof instant replies. but when i try and ask people to get together, they are ignored or are brushed off and get responses like "maybe next time", "oh def, we should do something soon" or or the best one of all "i don't know". It hurts. it hurts really really bad.

i feel as if I am doing something wrong and no one will tell me. i understand that some people will be closer to others and i am totally cool with it. i just want to have at least one friend who wont mind when i am emotionally confused or emotionally drunk and all i really want is to have a non-sexual cuddle to make me feel better, i want someone to not make fun of me for like geeky things and being geeky at times. I want to know that if i tell some person my deep fears, regrets, secrets, hopes and dreams that i wont be made fun of and they wont be like "thats stupid" or just brush it off. Sometimes i cry myself to sleep to purge my emotions but it never works and makes me feel even worse.

for flying fuck sakes, my parents are starting to take a proactive interest in this by explaing to me that sometimes friends fade away for a reason and its normal. my family is pushing me into doing this and that, the are even pushing for me to go to the bars by myself and drink to meet people. I don't want that, i want the people i call friends to ask ME TO DO SHIT. i always ask to do something or make plans and it never works, always fall through.

please.
i beg and plead and pray and ask on everything that is sacred, holy and precious that i am sent a good friend who wont abandon me or ridicule me or take me for granted. just let me have one non-sexual emotionally connection to a person. i need it. i dont want to be alone any more